The best place to raise kids

Where is it? I really want to know!

I grew up in a small town in Indiana. I have written about my childhood hometown before, and my desire to raise my daughter in a similar environment. I have fond memories of walking to school, erecting our summer lemonade stand, accompanying my friend on her local paper route, and riding my bike to the homes of my friends, the nearby small grocery store, the public swimming pool, the library, the collectibles shop, and everywhere else that my little legs would take me. I played in our yard, but I also enjoyed the wide-open space of the elementary school playground and visiting other kids in the neighborhood.

My brother and I, and later my two sisters, enjoyed a sense of freedom as children. And we enjoyed that freedom in concert with our peers.

My town had four elementary schools, one middle school, and one high school. We all patronized the same public library; we all took part in afterschool activities at the local Boys and Girls Club; we all went to the same pre-school; we all took gymnastics and tumbling classes at the same gym. Our families went to the same grocery store and frequented the same restaurants.

Maybe this sounds dreadful to some parents, but I long to bring up my daughter in the sort of close-knit community that I was raised in. But, does it still exist? Minus the paper route, are there places in America where children enjoy the same freedom that I did? Are there places where enough people know their neighbors to feel comfortable letting their children roam free? Places where children can walk or ride their bike where desired? Towns or city neighborhoods where everything a family needs is in the immediate vicinity and everyone in the community frequents the same places? Where there is no need to pack up the car and travel from your house in one town to the baseball practice in another town to the grocery store in yet another town?

I was recently in a small Pennsylvania town along the Delaware River. I was shocked to see people in their yards raking (not blowing, raking!) their own leaves. I thought: “wow, this is nice; I bet they know their neighbors around here.” No one tends to their own yard where I live, in suburbia. Everyone hires someone to mow their lawn and blow their leaves. It’s difficult to get to know your neighbors when they only emerge to leave for work or drive their kids to such and such locations. Tending to the lawn, or a garden, may seem like an insignificant activity to the creation of a sense of community, but encountering your neighbors in the midst of living life opens the door to conversation and connection. Are there towns in America where homeowners still rake their leaves, or is Milford, PA an exception?

I live in a suburb outside of New York City. I am not a fan of suburbia – here or elsewhere – for many reasons, which I may write about once I’ve escaped. All I’ll say now is one reason I’m not a fan is because of the abundance of choice. With choice, comes competition, which I’m also not a fan of. I don’t want to have to scour the web for tumbling classes for my daughter. I want to go to the gym in my community where all of my neighbors also take their kids. As long as the equipment is clean and not in disrepair, I don’t care if the gym offers the best of the best. I’m not trying to raise a future gymnast. I just want a place for her to expel energy and make some friends, which may result in me making friends as well.

Gymnastics is on my mind because that’s what I’m currently in search of. I could name many other activities or events that make me feel suffocated by choice, like where to take my daughter trick or treating because, apparently, walking around one’s neighborhood is no longer a thing. I guess that’s another question I want answered: where do kids walk out of their front door at dusk to go trick or treating? Does that place still exist?

I have an affection for small towns and city neighborhoods because I long to be a part of a community and because I want parenting to be less difficult. So, dear readers, I’m asking you: does the sort of town that I have described still exist? If so, where is it? I really want to know!

I should note, I am a bit picky about the vibrancy of the town center or village. I like good food, good coffee, and small business owners. If a town is mostly made up of chains, or if the main village is deserted, I’m not interested.

The comment section for this post is open to all. Tell me the best town or mid-size city to raise kids. Please, no recommendations for suburbs of major cities — sorry suburbia lovers.

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